Finding Joy in Professional Wrestling

 

Professional Wrestling is an artform. I have believed that for many, many years and I will kill someone on that hill. (We're no longer dying on hills folks, that trend is out. Now, if we are firm in our belief on something, it's not a hill we're dying on anymore. We are now killing people on said hill.) I once wrote on this same blog that wrestling is a beautiful, brutal art, and since we are coming off the biggest week in professional wrestling, my love for that art has been renewed. Following a conversation with Pro Wrestling's BFF, Nick Maniwa (@Nickmaniwa on Twitter, go give him a follow!) as we traveled to Lafayette, Indiana for House of Heat's "Dame of Thrones" show on Saturday, 4/25, I felt the urge to put down some thoughts about World Wrestling Entertainment, WrestleMania, independent wrestling and the art I love.

I'll start with WWE since that is where my fandom began - specifically, my channel surfing stopped on the episode of RAW is WAR Monday March 29th, 1999, the day after WrestleMania 15. I remember what got me to stop - the Undertaker in his Ministry of Darkness era was terrorizing Sable. I have a soft spot for a damsel in distress, and the Undertaker at that time appealed to my love of goth men so I watched. After years of giving my cousin shit for being a wrestling fan... I finally got it. So much so that I begged my mother to order the replay of WrestleMania that used to be available to buy on the Tuesday after the PPV. (Yes kids, back in the day if you didn't order the PPV and watch it live, you had the option to wait two days and order the replay. Didn't catch it either time? Gotta wait until it was released on VHS tape. Simpler days.)

Anyways, I was hooked and off to the races. I dipped a toe into WCW but other than Daffney, it didn't have any appeal to my teenage self. ECW and WOW (Women of Wrestling) were the other companies I kept an eye on but after the short lived ECW on TNN era, for a long stretch of time, WWE was all there was on tv that I knew of. It wasn't until maybe 2007ish that I discovered TNA and the independents. A friend of mine, Sarah, introduced me to SHIMMER and after 2010 I got heavy into the indies. But I kept my love of WWE because it was my first love, the easiest to watch at that point, and despite the low points it held my interest.

I'm going to fast forward for the sake of brevity to recent years. In my estimation, the ability to get into the indies has never been easier or better. You have a plethora of streaming services to sign up for, a vast amount of promotions that offer free shows on YouTube, and odds are decent you have a promotion that's within driving distance in your area. For me, I still watch WWE, but now I make a distinction.

I love professional wrestling. But if I want to watch great professional wrestling, I realize that WWE isn't where I'm most likely going to find it. I'm going to find it on AEW or on the indies. And I believe that there is a difference between being a WWE fan and a pro wrestling fan.

Before anyone thinks I'm coming at them sideways, let me explain because, as I wrote above, WWE is how I got into wrestling. It's a gateway for a lot of us. But the way the company has grown and changed over the years, the focus has shifted from having great in-ring matches to putting on a spectacle. A show. That's not the wrestlers' fault. It's whoever is making the decisions now, be it Triple H or TKO. I'm not entirely sure, and I don't claim to know.

I think watching this year's WrestleMania really brought this home for me. Starting on Wednesday April 15th, what is known as WrestleMania Weekend began. A few days before WrestleMania weekend, a whole host of independent promotions began putting on shows every day starting early and going until the wee hours of the morning. This started to be a thing in 2013 where indie promotions began to conglomerate (shoutout to Willow Nightingale, Kyle O'Reilly, Orange Cassidy, Mark Briscoe, Tomohiro Ishii and, reluctantly, Roderick Strong - if you watch AEW, you'll get that) in the same city that WrestleMania was running and put on shows. To my memory (backed up by a Google search), there was the first WrestleCon and the following promotions ran shows: Shimmer Women Athletes, CHIKARA, Combat Zone Wrestling, DragonGate USA, EVOLVE and Kaiju Big Battle. This blogger went to the first WrestleCon and also bought tickets for all the shows but wound up only making it to SHIMMER and CHIKARA due to scheduling issues. It was a hell of an experience - it's not every day you get to meet Beth Phoenix, William Regal and Kyoko Inoue in the same day. Not to mention get to witness the legendary Jushin "Thunder" Liger wrestle in person.

Six promotions in 2013. I could not even begin to tell you how many promotions or shows ran in 2026. I know I watched 23 shows alone. Most of them fell under the Game Changer Wrestling umbrella but not all. My point is, this stretch of 5 days contained some of the best wrestling I will see all year and only one day consisted of matches I would recommend from WWE. However, I watched both nights of WrestleMania and I came to a conclusion.

If I want amazing professional wrestling matches, I'm going to watch the independents and know for a fact I will see just that. If I want a general show that may have some good wrestling on it, I'm going to watch WWE. Odds are high that I will be entertained, probably laugh a bit and get to see the people I'm a fan of. But I no longer watch it solely for the in-ring aspect. That isn't what WWE is now. I would argue that, after decades of Vince McMahon saying that he's in the entertainment business, that is truly the reality now. Can that entertainment include great wrestling? Absolutely. I would put CM Punk versus Roman Reigns in the main event at this year's WrestleMania Night 2 as a truly great match with all the elements needed to make it a classic.

However, after Night 1 of WrestleMania I saw a lot of people complaining about how it was the worst "wrestling" they've seen, one of the worst nights of WrestleMania period, and how disappointed they were. They have every right to feel that way, and I get it. I was entertained but again - I had just spent the last 3 days and a few hours up to Night 1 watching excellent wrestling. I was ready to take WrestleMania as what it was/is - a spectacle.

To be very honest, I keep watching WWE partly out of habit, but also because I have people I'm friends with or have been a fan of for a long time working there. If that wasn't the case, I wouldn't be watching. With AEW on Wednesdays and Saturdays and my subscriptions to TrillerTV+ and IWTV (Independent Wrestling TV), not to mention YouTube and the option to subscribe to others like NJPW, STARDOM, Wrestle Universe, etc. I don't have to watch WWE for purely in-ring.

Again, I want to be so clear - this isn't a shot at anyone who loves WWE and considers their program to have great wrestling. Wrestling is subjective. What's great to me might not be great to you and vice versa. I'm of the opinion that you need to find the joy in life, now more than ever, and if watching WWE brings that joy to you then I want that for you! But what I don't want is people to keep watching and complaining about the lack of wrestling when, if you are a WRESTLING fan, there are other options for you.

I want to switch now to the shows that I saw and offer my recommendations as to the promotions watched, and specific matches you should go out of your way to view if you're a wrestling fan. (Side tangent, this is what I do love about social media. If you are looking for recommendations on something different to watch, for instance, you can post on Twitter that you're a fan of <insert WWE person here> and ask who outside WWE you should check out for a similar style/character. Or, you can ask for recommendations for their stuff they did before signing with WWE. If you came to be a fan of CM Punk after he joined WWE, there is a plethora of stuff you can find from his independent run in IWA: Mid South or Ring of Honor, for instance. Overall point being, social media is fantastic for getting suggestions on who to check out if you're looking to expand your horizons. Just ignore the people who proceed to tell you you aren't a "real wrestling fan" because you don't know who was the NWA Champion in 1975. It was Jack Brisco, but I didn't tell you that.)

I'll be going in the order of the shows I watched starting on Thursday 4/16, and I'll include where you can find them at and my recommendations on what stood out from each show. (Bear in mind that wrestling is subjective - what I loved/enjoyed, you may not and that's perfectly fine!) Also, I wasn't able to watch some shows when they were live, and some were broadcast after Vegas week/weekend was over, hence me putting these in the order I watched them and not necessarily when they originally aired. Let's dive right in!

*Progress Wrestling (you can find this on TrillerTV+ and will need a subscription for anything under the Plus tag): Emersyn Jayne vs Mercedes Martinez vs Lena Kross vs Renee Michelle vs Shotzi Blackheart; Rhio vs Vert Vixen; Man Like DeReiss (with Brodie Lee Jr) defends the PROGRESS World Title against Michael Oku (with Amira).

*Tokyo Joshi Pro Wrestling (on TrillerTV but you have to purchase it): Miyu Yamashita vs Mizuki vs Miu Watanabe; Suzume defends the International Princess Championship against Sakura Hattori; The IInspiration (Jessie McKay & Cassie Lee) defend the Princess Tag Team Championships against Hyper Misao and Shoko Nakajima. 

*New Texas Pro Wrestling (on IWTV): 1 Called Manders vs Timur the Great; Charity King defends the New Texas Pro Women's Championship against Gabby Forza (Heavy recommend here, both of these women I discovered this year and both are women who pack a whallop. They threw bombs at each other and it was tremendous!); Danny Orion defends the New Texas Pro Championship against Bryan Keith.

*St. Louis Anarchy (on IWTV): Billie Starkz vs Davey Vega (with Nixi XS); Charli Evans vs Laynie Luck (Heavy recommend here, one of the best matches I saw all week/weekend. This is genuinely on the list of matches I would show someone looking to get into women's wrestling it was THAT good.); 1 Called Manders & Thomas Shire vs Gary Jay & Aaron Williams.

*WrestleCon Mark Hitchcock Memorial SuperShow (on TrillerTV+): Love & Peace (Ben-K & Hyo) vs CPF (Danny Black & Joe Lando) vs Mala Fama (Latigo & Toxin) vs The StarMen (Starboy Charlie & Starman); Subculture (Flash Morgan Webster & Mark Andrews) vs The Swirl (Blake Christian & Lee Johnson) (Heavy recommend here, one of those matches you don't know you wanted until you see it!); The Demand (Ricochet, Bishop Kaun & Toa Liona) vs JetSpeed (Speedball Mike Bailey & Kevin Knight) & Michael Oku (Heavy recommend here - we got this instead of the originally booked Leon Slater vs Ricochet and honestly this was just as good as that would have been, if not better. Michael Oku fit perfectly with JetSpeed!)

*New Japan Death Vegas Invitational (on TrillerTV+): Zack Sabre Jr. vs Fuminori Abe; El Phantasmo & Maika vs Dragon Kid & Starlight Kid; Matt Tremont & Nick Fucking Gage vs Rina Yamashita & Masashi Takeda vs El Desperado & Jun Kasai in a Death Match.

*MDK Fight Club (on TrillerTV+): Vipress vs Charli Evans vs Rina Yamashita (Side note: Shoutout to GCW for giving Megumi Kudo her flowers and inducting her into their Death Match Hall of Fame. She was a real pioneer in Japan, an incredibly tough woman who more than deserved to be honored and recognized. Having Vipress, Evans & Yamashita present her with bouquets before their match was a wonderfully sentimental touch!); Hayabusa & Masato Tanaka vs Bear Bronson & Mr. Danger

*ACTION Wrestling (on IWTV): Darian Bengston defends the ACTION World Championship against Timothy Thatcher; Minoru Suzuki/Fuminori Abe/Adam Priest vs Zack Sabre Jr/Erick Stevens/Jonathan Gresham (Heavy recommend - this match broke Twitter when it was announced and good god it delivered. Comedy, chain wrestling, chops - it had everything!)

*Gringo Loco's The WRLD on Lucha (on TrillerTV+): Rafael Quintero vs Jimmy Lloyd vs Devon Monroe vs Dulce Tormenta vs KJ Orso vs Resplandor; Thunder Rosa vs Julissa Mexa; Vipress vs El Desperado.

*STARDOM American Dream (on TrillerTV, you'd have to purchase it): Maika/Mina Shirakawa/HANAKO vs Rina Yamashita/Hazuki/Suzu Suzuki; Athena vs Rina (Heavy recommend here - Athena is one of the absolute best today & this was the first time I had seen Rina - fantastic match!); Babes of Wrath (Willow Nightingale & Harley Cameron) & Kris Statlander vs Neo Genesis (Mei Seira/AZM/Starlight Kid.)

*Josh Barnett's Bloodsport XV (on TrillerTV+): Miyu Yamashita vs Janai Kai; Masashi Takeda vs Pete Dunne; Shayna Baszler vs Nattie Neidhart.

*Joey Janela's Spring Break X (on TrillerTV+): 1 Called Manders vs Bear Bronson vs Charles Mason vs Gringo Loco vs Man Like DeReiss vs Masato Tanaka vs Shotzi Blackheart vs Sidney Akeem vs Terry Yaki vs Vipress vs Vengador in a Grab the Brass Ring Ladder Match (winner gets a future GCW World title shot); Mance Warner & Steph DeLander vs Megan Bayne & Nick Fucking Gage; Joey Janela vs Brodie Lee Jr.

*Maple Leaf Pro Wrestling's Multiverse (on TrillerTV, you'd have to purchase it): The Demand vs Sidney Akeem/Rich Swann/Michael Oku; Hechicero defends the CMLL World Heavyweight Championship against Jonathan Gresham; Gisele Shaw defends the MLP Women's Championship against Killer Kelly, Shotzi Blackheart & Persephone.

*Effy's Big Gay Brunch (on TrillerTV+): Honestly, I recommend the whole show. I loved every match, thought they were all anywhere from great to fucking awesome, and this is one show I look forward to every year. Pro Wrestling is beautiful when it's diverse. This not only had amazing matches, it had moments, it had spectacle, gorgeous gear and a lot of laughter. And kissing. A lot of kissing. Which, wrestling needs more of quite frankly. Five stars, no notes.

*The Immortal Clusterfuck (on TrillerTV+): There were only two matches and this show started at 1:45am, 45 minutes after it was scheduled to start. Unless you enjoy silliness, insanity, high spots and general whackiness, you may not want to watch this. I would STILL recommend it but I think it's best watched live - after WrestleMania, into the wee hours of Sunday morning. This year it ended around 6am! I loved every minute of it!

*Ladies Night Out 16 (on Title Fight Network, you'll need a subscription): Ruthie Jay vs Jada Stone; Thunder Rosa vs Vert Vixen. I'm going to be honest, this show had 17 matches on it and out of those, 7 went over 5 minutes in length. There were people that stood out but a lot of them didn't have the chance for their matches to get out of first gear. I would say that it suffered from quantity over quality as very few people got to shine, and there were a lot of women who are only 1-4 years into wrestling that worked with each other instead of with veterans (of course, NONE of this is their fault, whoever booked the matches should have mixed up the talent better). I hope the more inexperienced women get out more and get time and opportunity to grow as there were quite a few that have potential - Rachel Ley, Sofia Sivan, Fallyn Grey, Corinne Joy, Alexis Littlefoot, Lili Ruiz among others.

*West Coast Wrestling Presents: West Coast vs The World (this is, as of the time this is published) offered FOR FREE on their YouTube page. See below for a link, or search YT for "West Coast Pro Wrestling"): Alpha Zo vs LaBron Kozone; Miko Alana vs Aja Kong; Senka vs CHRIS FUCKING HERO; Johnnie Robbie defends the WCWP Women's Title against Mio Momono (Heavy recommend - Johnnie is only 4 years in and already really damn good! Mio was trained by legendary Chigusa Nagayo with ten years under her belt and one of the best I've ever seen. Tremendous main event!)

With that, this is the full list of shows I watched that fell under the umbrella of WrestleWeek / Weekend from 4/16 - 4/19. I did not watch Ladies Night Out or West Coast live when they occurred due to when they originally aired (LNO) or because they filmed and aired at a later date (West Coast). I also want to include the fact that Pride Style Pro Wrestling had two shows that ran on Friday & Saturday with amazing cards, and it looks as if the matches from one show, "Out of This World" have been uploaded for free on their YouTube as of today (May 6th). I fully plan on checking those out!

However, I want to jot down a few thoughts before I wrap this up.

St. Louis Anarchy is a promotion I've been a fan and supporter of for a long time now. The owner/promoter, Matt Jackson (no relation to the Bucks!) is genuinely one of the best promoters I know. You always hear about the scummy promoters who cheat their fans & wrestlers but Jackson stands out with a good reputation. He doesn't lie to fans. If a change has to happen on a card, he announces it as soon as possible. Plus, he takes an extra step and explains various decisions he's made or things that changed and why either on their free podcast or their Patreon podcast (link to it below). He is willing to answer questions whenever he is able, and in the past if there was an issue with a wrestler they had been booking, he either would no longer book them until the issue was resolved or no longer book them period. Even if the issue wasn't one that happened at Anarchy. I've attended a handful of shows, and as a woman I have felt safe and I know that if an issue had ever come up, I could approach him or one of the folks who works with him (such as Evan Gelistico) and my concerns would be taken seriously and addressed. That type of safety is paramount for any fan in my opinion.

Anarchy ran a show the week after Vegas that is or will be available on IWTV. Jackson had, in the past, been very open about why he never ran a show during WrestleWeek, and in the leadup to Vegas he was open about why he took the risk. In a free Patreon podcast episode that he recorded after the Vegas show, he took the time to explain a tweet that had some (in my opinion unnecessary) drama behind it and stressed that even though the live attendance wasn't what he would have wanted it to be, he still believed it was a strong show and not a failure in that regard. Then, as I wrote, they ran the next week in their hometown of Alton, Illinois a show called "Canvas of Dreams" - and much like the Vegas show (which I DO recommend top to bottom) this show knocked it out of the park. Genuinely one of their best shows in all the years I've been watching.

(Photo credit to https://x.com/pynkglitt3r)

It had comedy, hard hitting matches, flippy shit and it all culminated in the main event featuring Charli Evans vs Eddie Kingston. This is a match that Charlie had been loud about wanting for years. She made it known she wanted to face a man that she considered a friend and mentor. Matt Jackson made this match happen. At the first Canvas of Dreams, the main event had Gary Jay vs Masato Tanaka - Gary Jay's very own dream match. This time, it was Charli's dream match taking place and it was magic. These two beat the shit out of each other in a brutal, beautiful way and it took everything Kingston had to keep Charli down. Everyone can have their opinion about intergender wrestling but to me, this wasn't about a woman versus a man, this was about a competitor who wanted to prove herself against someone she respected. This match was the cherry on top of a delicious sundae of a show and even though it didn't fall under the WrestleWeek / Weekend umbrella, I still HIGHLY recommend it if you are looking to get into Anarchy.

Game Changer Wrestling added a few more promotions / shows under the Collective umbrella and all were welcome additions. Effy's Big Gay Brunch continues to be a highlight with the representation and diversity it offers (representation that SHOULD be featured across the country all year instead of confined to one or two shows). There's a beauty and a joy to see so many wrestlers of different genders, races, sexualities, nationalities, etc. coming together to create magic. Alternatively, Josh Barnett announced that this would be the last show under his banner of the Bloodsport brand sadly. Hopefully the concept will continue in some form or fashion. Death matches have a bad reputation, and admittedly it's not something I watch on a regular basis. However, when you have people who know what they are doing (such as veterans like Nick Gage, Matt Tremont, Rina Yamashita among others), they are capable of putting on art that is uniquely their own. Spring Break remains a fun spectacle with plenty to offer, and the Clusterfuck hits the spot when you want to watch chaos into the small hours of the morning. I'm also glad that the WrestleCon Supershow decided to join up with them this year.

I was happy to see that across from The Collective there was a group of a few promotions that decided to form working relationships some months ago and then made the decision to offer their own selection of shows. "The New Initiative" consisted of St. Louis Anarchy, New Texas Pro Wrestling, West Coast Pro Wrestling, ACTION Wrestling & Pride Style Pro Wrestling. It had to be a tough decision if you were a fan in Vegas and trying to figure out what shows to attend, but as a fan watching from home with a television, a phone and an iPad I was spoiled for choice! Add in a Joshi flair with STARDOM & TJPW and there was literally something for everyone over the course of 5 days.

I want to give a special shoutout to someone I've known since 2011 and has grown within wrestling into one of the best commentators out there. Veda Scott started out as a wrestler, having trained with Daizee Haze at the Ring of Honor school. However in recent years, they have transitioned into the role of a commentator and developed a style all their own. Veda makes it a point to dig into the backstory of a promotion and the individual wrestlers so they can reference key points during a match. Their passion is genuine and their enthusiasm unbridled. You can tell just by listening that they love what they do. Over the course of 4 days in Vegas, Veda was on the call for TEN shows. They commentated for WrestleCon, Podermania, Ladies Night Out, STARDOM, TJPW and five different GCW shows - some of them falling on the same day! Yet, although at times they had to have been tired, their enthusiasm and genuine love for wrestling shone brightly. Veda also promoted the shows on their social media, going the extra mile to not just advertise where they were going to be commentating but also putting over the entire experience. They remain a fan at heart. Having watched their progression during the course of over ten years, I'm so proud of their hard work and grateful for the sacrifice they've gone through. It's a blessing to have someone who, in their own words, has been public about their own experiences and vows "it has to be better and on my watch it will be" regarding good commentary. Wrestling is better having someone like Veda Scott within it.

(I also highly recommend following them on YouTube as they post videos after some of the shows they're on and give a glimpse into behind the scenes. You can follow them here: https://www.youtube.com/@VedaScott1 and on Twitter at: https://x.com/itsvedatime )

I do recommend all the shows I watched, some more strongly than others, but overall these five days really renewed my love of professional wrestling. If you feel yourself wanting to explore wrestling outside of WWE and even outside of AEW, it's now easier than ever and also cheaper than ever to get into it with a variety of places you can subscribe to that are readily available on your phone, tablet, television or what have you. I encourage you to look into the promotions I wrote about here, look up the various wrestlers, see what they have on YouTube for samples and then take a chance and sign up wherever they are available. Below are links to their social media pages and YouTube channels.

One of my dearest friends Tom, aka Christian Rose, likes to say "Find what you love and let it kill you." He's probably not the originator of this phrase but I use it frequently when it comes to this topic. Find what you love about professional wrestling and let it kill you. Find your joy and fall in love with this beautiful, brutal art.

Social Media Links

• Independent Wrestling Television: https://independentwrestling.tv/
• - Twitter: https://x.com/indiewrestling

• TrillerTV: https://www.trillertv.com/
• - Twitter: https://x.com/triller_Tv

• Title Match Network: https://titlematchnetwork.com/ 
• - Twitter: https://x.com/titlematchwn

• STARDOM: https://wwr-stardom.com/en/
• - YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@STARDOMofficial
• - Twitter (English account): https://x.com/we_are_stardom
• - STARDOM Twitter (Japanese account): https://x.com/wwr_stardom

• TJPW: https://tokyostoryusa.com/pages/tjpw
• - YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@tjpw2013
• - Twitter: https://x.com/tjpw2013

• St. Louis Anarchy: https://www.stlanarchy.com/
• - YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@SaintLouisAnarchy
• - Twitter: https://x.com/stlanarchy
• - Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/AnarchySTL
• You can also find their free podcast wherever you listen, search for "Dollar Menu Discourse"

• New Texas Pro Wrestling: https://newtexaspro.com/
• - YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@NewTexasPro
• - Twitter: https://x.com/newtexaspw

• West Coast Pro Wrestling: https://www.westcoastprowrestling.com/
• - YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@westcoastprowrestling
• - Twitter: https://x.com/WCProOfficial

• ACTION Wrestling: https://action-wrestling.square.site/
• - YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@ACTIONWrestling
• - Twitter: https://x.com/wrestleaction1

• Pride Style Pro Wrestling: https://pridestylepro.com/
• - YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@pridestylepro
• - Twitter: https://x.com/pridestylepro

• Game Changer Wrestling: https://www.longlivegcw.com/
• - YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@GameChangerWrestlingVideo
• - Twitter: https://x.com/gcwrestling_

• Maple Leaf Pro Wrestling: https://mlpwrestling.com/
• - YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@MapleLeafProWrestling
• - Twitter: https://x.com/mapleleafpw

Bizarro Is Home

Bizarro Lucha in Indianapolis is the best promotion to ever come into my life. It's more than just the amazing matches. Or the fact it starts on time and has a good pace to it. Or even the fact they bring in outside talent to work with the majority local guys and gals.

No, it's the positive vibe, the inclusive atmosphere, the electric energy - it's the fact that, to me and I suspect to a lot of other folks... Bizarro Lucha is home.

I've paused after writing that because I am trying to find the words to express just how much this promotion means to me. Since its creation and first show event in October 2018, there have been six shows as of June 2019 and I have attended all of them except for March of 2019. At the start of every show, the ring announcer, Mr. Bizarro, gives a warning: No racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia or any kind of hatred or disgusting behavior will be tolerated. Period. He goes on to say that Bizarro Lucha is an inclusive, safe environment for everyone. These announcements are usually followed by the crowd chanting, "Don't be a dick! Don't be a dick!" (Which is a good rule of thumb in general.)

Announcements over, the fun begins. On any given night you'll see the up and coming guys and gals plying their trade, putting in the work to get better at their craft (and make no mistake, wrestling is definitely a craft), creating new layers to their characters. It's an art form that you get to see take shape and grow month after month. Guys that may have blended in get to take on new personas and explore what they can do with a new identity, such as Brayden Lee, who tweeted about getting to make his masked character come to life in Bizarro Lucha after growing up dreaming about wrestling as a masked persona. Bizarro gave him the opportunity to bring that dream to life.

This promotion also has brought in stars such as Solo Darling, Joey Ryan and Effy to match up against our home grown stars like the first Bizarro Lucha Champion, Nick Iggy, IFHY (a stable consisting of Johnathan Wolf, Shawn Kemp, Allie Kat, Tyler Matrix, Cole Radrick {among others}), Levi Everett and Ace Perry. To a one, the outside folks have enjoyed their time at Bizarro citing it's atmosphere and energy as different from other promotions.

However, this place has become home to me for a much deeper, personal reason. It has a lot to do with grappling with a grief I've had since February of 2018.

On February 17th, 2018, I lost my Dad, Eddie, after I had to make the difficult and haunting decision to remove life support. The doctors and family all thought it was best, but because I was his power of attorney and had lived with him and my mom all my life, I had to make the final decision. It haunts me to this day. After he passed, even though I wasn't, I felt alone and isolated. My sister had her husband and son to comfort her. At the time, I had my boyfriend and extended circle of friends but only he was there in person to help me. In June, however, we broke up and I felt bereft. The cats I had adopted, Nikko (I got him a month after mom passed, in January 2013) and Mary Lee (adopted in July 2017, I got her because of her name - Mary Lee was my mom's first and middle name), they were there for me and Nikko had a way of coming around when I would cry or feel sad. But in September, his vet uncovered a heart arrhythmia during a routine check, and counseled me as to my options. I chose to let go of him, for fear of coming home to find him gone as sudden death was something that could have happened. This decision haunts me as well - I could have had him scheduled for an echocardiogram to know the extent of the arrhythmia and made decisions from there. Even now I hate the fact I didn't fight as hard for him as I should have. As I should have for my dad.

Come October 2018 I was in a bad way. Two events occurred to help lift my spirits in the short term and the long term. The first was at the end of the month - my friend Alex invited me to come and visit her in New York City and I got us tickets for the first-ever WWE all women's event, "Evolution." It did me a world of good to be with someone I love as much as Alex, and getting to spend a day with one of my best friends, Eric; and then at Evolution to run into Steven, Torri and finally meet Chris.  It was a positive, uplifting week overall that I sorely needed.

The second event happened before I left - the first Bizarro Lucha show. Since Indianapolis is only two hours from me, I drove up as I knew almost everyone on the card. Plus, my friends D, Jordan and Carolina would be there. I wasn't sure what to expect but the experience blew me away. It was much like a SUP Graps show in that it was standing room around the ring and there was nothing but positive energy. I couldn't tell you how many people there were wrestling fans and who might have come out of curiosity and for the chance to drink (it is in a brewery after all!), but everyone was reacting to everything, the wrestlers were clearly enjoying themselves as well and no one was a jerk to anyone else. It was a blast!

The second show wasn't until February of 2019 but it came back in a big way - the first Bizarro Lucha Luchaversal Champion was decided in a battle royal that ultimately Nick Iggy won. In the ensuing year, Nick would hold onto his title by hook or by crook and become one of the most hated villains in the Luchaverse. As he's best known as a tag team specialist with Kerry Awful, it was good to see him develop as a singles competitor and show what he's capable of. I've known him and Kerry since 2013 and they've come a long way into developing into tremendous wrestlers and performers.


Thereafter, until the season finale in October of 2019, I only missed the March show. Otherwise, whether it was every month or if they skipped a month between, I lived for these shows. I lived for the chance to be with my group, to see performers that came in for special occasions, to see local wrestlers grow their skills, to catch up with friends and to get hugs. The February show was on the 10th, 1 day before my Mom's birthday, and 7 days before the first year anniversary of Dad's passing and it was a balm to my spirit to have that support and uplifting to carry me through that hard week. The May 2019 show was a week after my birthday and I was showered in love by friends who helped me get Joey Ryan's lollipop in a concentrated effort that was a surprise to me.


In October, we said goodbye to Mother of Bizarro Lucha, although to us she's our Daddy, Shotzi Blackheart. She took on Ace Perry in a rematch that was 2 out of 3 falls, and it was one of the best matches of the year. However, we were stunned when she lost without getting one fall. The locker room emptied out to gather around the ring with us and Percy presented her with a cake. The moment was priceless and I couldn't help but cry. Same as I had at the aftermath of the match between Mike Quackenbush and the man who came out of retirement just for him, Billy Roc.

Photo credit to Mouse!

For me, emotion is everything in wrestling. I want to feel something. Be it a connection to the wrestlers competing or the beauty in a match, I love it when wrestling evokes feeling. Although there were plenty of matches and shows that made me feel, what I loved the most was the sense of belonging. The feeling of being wanted, being part of something special. The way Carolina's face would light up when she saw me. How Jordan and I would sag against each other after Nick would somehow find a way to keep his title. When D would reach out their arm and shield me from incoming brawling. Knowing Percy would be there with one of his big hugs. Finding a moment or two to chat with Nick about our cats. Being able to thank Tripp for being willing to take on the stress to keep this creation going. Finding the bravery to get photos with Danhausen and Solo Darling among others.

When I entered the brewery on those Bizarro Lucha show days, I was able to take my grief off and set it aside, like putting a coat on a coat rack, and immerse myself in the love, joy, anger, excitement and passion of being with my people, watching a spectacle. I knew when the show was over and it was time after lingering to talk with friends I would put that coat back on as I headed home - but somehow, grief weighed lighter on me afterward and even in the days that followed. Many times after a show I would be buoyed by the positive energy through the week that followed.


It was priceless. It was something that helped me more than words can express. Bizarro Lucha became my home when my own house stopped feeling like home. Even during the hiatus right now, I look forward to the come back in February and I keep that glow of home in my heart. I hang on to every match announcement, yes, but more than that, I look forward to being with my people.


The saying goes, "Home is where the heart is." If so, my heart resides in the Indiana City Brewing Company in Indianapolis, where a Dino rides his skateboard; an Imaginary Friend steals from his opponents; a Kat, a Dog and a Wolf form their own pack; a Soul-less man fights without fear; a sinister Doctor seeks to use his Creations to take over the Luchaverse; and two simple kinda Men of the People along with an Awfully Scary shadow managed to topple a Showstopping Ringmaster, a Businessman, a Ring Wizard and a Human Resource.


My home is in the Luchaverse. And I am forever thankful to Tripp Cassidy and Shotzi Blackheart for creating it.

Fandom Lost and Regained

I had been ruminating on how to start this post. Finally, I decided to start with clearing up something that happened in June. A rumor spread that I was responsible for Brad Stutts being made to leave the NOVA Pro Commonwealth Cup show on Friday night. Here now are screenshots with the promoter, Mike King, that show exactly what I said.

I heard from various places that I had "forced" Mike to make Brad leave the show. I saw where I was accused of being a "raging lunatic". I was told by one person that I should stop going to shows because it seemed I was determined to find and point out the negatives instead of the positives. I made that weekend difficult for some folks as well as for myself.

My point by starting out with this is not to put Mike on blast, nor Brad, nor anyone else. Just myself. Since that weekend, I have taken a good, long, hard look at myself and my relationship with wrestling and the community overall. I didn't like what I saw. I didn't like the fact that, when I attended a show and some controversy erupted, I was immediately blamed as I was in this case. Most of the times in the past, there may or may not have been some validity to the blame. Not in this case, however. I was accused due to my reputation. I'm showing these screenshots for two reasons. One, to show that despite what anyone may think, I in no way, shape or form demanded that Brad leave the show nor did I throw a fit or act inappropriately in these messages.

The second reason is quite simply that I don't like my reputation. I don't like the fact that I may be seen as a negative if I go to a show. I don't like the fact that anyone may be apprehensive if I go to a promotion. Mostly, I don't like the negativity that I have been putting out either consciously or unconsciously. Because I didn't used to be like that.

I got into independent wrestling in 2009-2010, mostly SHIMMER and Ring of Honor. It wasn't until 2012 that I started branching out, attending my first CHIKARA, AIW and Insanity Pro shows. I liked it. I liked the driving, the new atmospheres, the new talent I was discovering (they may not have been "new" in the real sense but since I hadn't seen them before they were new to me). However, it wasn't until 2013 that my love of independent wrestling truly bloomed. A lot of this is due to the fact that I dove in as a way of dealing with the death of my wonderful mother. My Dad realized I needed an escape, I needed a way to cope with her death and he gave me the freedom to start road tripping to new promotions, new places - and I loved it. I fell in love with new promotions, new wrestlers, new friends that I made. I drove all over Indiana, into Illinois, down to Nashville and up to Ohio. Friends that I had known prior to 2013 were there for me as were friends that I made during that year. I attended promotions with reputations, shows with controversial people on it - if there was a name on there that I wanted to see, I went.

2013 could have been one of the worst years of my life. Instead, it turned into a milestone because of how much I grew and how much my circle expanded. I give the credit to wrestling and the people that I met during that year as well as the next. It feels now like every weekend I was gone somewhere although I know that isn't the case. I was busy, though, and I was happy.

I don't altogether know when that changed. It might have changed when I started reading more and more about the problematic aspects of wrestling. It might have changed when I saw news stories about the folks accused of crimes and misdemeanors seemingly get away with what they were have said to do. It might have changed when I started to focus too much on who the wrestlers were as people instead of as performers. It might have changed when I started to comment on rumors and take unproven facts as gospel. It might have changed when I started paying too much attention to the bad apple fans instead of the good ones.

I cannot tell you when things shifted. But they did. I realized as time passed that I was being talked about, that I was seen as someone who brought her own baggage to shows I attended. I professed not to care. "If people think they know me just by my social media then they don't know me at all," was something along the lines of what I thought.

In hindsight, I see how stupid that is. My social media is a reflection of myself. If I constantly put out negativity, then I am seen as a negative person even if I claim not to be. Garbage in, garbage out.

The NOVA incident made me take a long look at myself and made me realize that I had lost the person I was in 2013. Granted, I can't put some genies back in their bottles...but I can change my outlook. I can change what I put out on social media. I can see the positives in wrestling and focus on them, give them my attention and support and recapture that love I lost. It never truly left, but I have given enough time and attention to the negative.

I am tired of drama. I am tired of immediately jumping on bandwagons when something bad comes out about Person A or Person B instead of hearing both sides and coming to a private conclusion. I am tired of giving my time and attention to controversy when it erupts. I am tired of, when controversy does happen at a show I am at, having the finger pointed at me automatically.

What does this mean in concrete terms for me going forward? It means a few things.

It means I no longer care about who has said what about Person A or Person B. It means I no longer care about what baggage Person A or Person B has. It means that if I want to attend a show that has a "problematic" person on it, I will pay my money, see the show and support the promotion and the people I went to see. If I choose not to attend a show because of one reason or another, I will not go on social media to trumpet how Such and Such Promotion won't get my money because of (insert reason). "Tweeting doesn't change the world" as an acquaintance, ironically enough, tweeted. It also means that I will not abandon my fandom of a wrestler or promotion due to rumors either.

This also means that when I do go to shows, I will focus on the positive. I will use social media to promote what and who I like. I will stay off my phone more and focus on the matches, promos, etc. I told a friend a few days ago this:

"I just want to get back to where I was before. I lost that these past few years. Became jaded and quick to join in on stupid shit and drama. I'm done with that. Give me a good show, give me people to hang with, maybe a dinner after wards with friends, and that's it. That's what I want."

The friend was encouraging, responding with, "Talking about letting go, wanting to be a fan, enjoying yourself and being positive - this is the PV I met years ago. This was the strong woman who stood her ground but kept an open ear and would use educated dialogue to express positive change in a negative sport."

Some folks may be disappointed, thinking I am giving up speaking out about the bad things that are in wrestling. To some extent, I am because this is something I am doing for myself. If I want to receive positivity, I must put it out into the Universe. However, this doesn't mean I am going to excuse the racism, sexism and homophobia willynilly. But, given the fact that I still subscribe to the WWE Network, I realize I am a hypocrite to some extent. We must all come to terms with what we are willing to overlook or put up with to remain a wrestling fan. No promotion or company is perfect.

In the end, wrestling is a fandom that I've been part of since 1999 when I discovered WWF and WCW, followed by ECW and WOW. With the advent of social media I have become a more connected part of said fandom by being able to interact with other fans and wrestlers alike. Some wrestlers I have been fortunate enough to become friends with and I have gained some insight as to what the life of an independent wrestler can be. I admire so many of them and, admittedly, live vicariously through their own adventures. I choose to remain in the fandom to support the folks that deserve success. I choose to remain in the fandom to celebrate it with other fans who are as passionate as I am (and even more so sometimes). To give a recent example, at the last SUP Wrestling show, I hung out with D, Heather, Jordan and the great time I had was amplified by being with them, partaking of their energy and enthusiasm and giving out my own. The wonderful energy and positivity I felt powered me through the rest of the week until I went to my first Pro Wrestling Freedom show in a few years, where I enjoyed myself immensely despite not sitting with anyone yet still seeing friends in between matches and after the show. The energy and passion from those shows were the uplift I needed and led me to realize my decision is the right one for me.

Most of all, I choose to remain a wrestling fan because ultimately it has saved and helped my life in more ways than anyone could ever know. Now, I want to turn myself and my outlook around. I do not want to be known as the "Negative Fan" or the "Problematic Person" anymore.

I just want to be a fan.

Revolution Now

Imagine. Imagine having a dream. Imagine working your whole life for it. Now imagine you are told, time and again, you aren't "(fill-in-the-blank) enough."

Ever since I could remember, everything inside of me just wanted to fit in...

"You aren't tall enough."
"You aren't strong enough."
"You aren't 'built' enough."
"You will never succeed. Just give up. You aren't good enough."

Imagine transforming yourself, losing weight, changing your look, changing your style - but it still isn't 'enough."

I was never one for pretenders, everything I tried to be just wouldn't settle in...

Imagine feeling despair in your heart, and slowly, after years of hearing those words, believing that they are true. Imagine growing harder, hearing critical words from the peers you look up to most. "...Takes it too seriously.."

I get the feeling just because everything I touch isn't dark enough that this problem lies in me...

Now imagine taking a stand. Fighting back. Determined to become the best no matter what. Imagine striving for that goal and having it slip through your fingers, coming so close, only to be prevented by people who feel themselves to be better than you. Pinnacles of arrogance.

You don't scare me, although I'm small - I'm bulletproof and I'm ten feet tall...

Now imagine a chorus of voices swelling up in support, more and more building up until the momentum sweeps you away, propelling you towards your dream. Imagine that wave sweeping away all obstacles in it's path, until you are so close it is almost in your grasp...

You may think I'm talking about the new WWE World Heavyweight Champion, Daniel Bryan. While there are many similarities in their stories and their paths, the person I am speaking of has had major challenges to her health as well as obstacles to her goals. That's right, her. The person I am speaking of is the "Super Hardcore Anime", LuFisto.

Back in late 2012/Spring of 2013, LuFisto was engaged in a war between Mercedes Martinez and then-SHIMMER Champion, Saraya Knight. LuFi and Martinez had been battling in several promotions such as where the feud began (NCW Femmes Fatales), over to Mercedes' stomping ground in Women Superstars Uncensored, a brief skirmish in SHIMMER Women Athletes and back to Femmes Fatales where, in March 2013, LuFisto challenged Saraya Knight for the SHIMMER belt. She might have won, if not for Mercedes running in to clock her in the head with a chair, allowing Knight to get the win via referee stoppage. LuFi might have gotten her revenge, if not for an accident that shattered her kneecap at SHIMMER 53 the following week. This took her out of action until the Fall of 2013 - something that she discussed along with various other, personal topics in a podcast you can listen to here: http://ringbellesonline.com/2013/05/03/wow-podcast-56-with-lufisto/

Upon her return, she discovered something new about the new SHIMMER Champion, Cheerleader Melissa. Her old ally had become more arrogant, more dangerous, and more of a bully. After defeating Leva Bates to retain the belt, Melissa kept beating on the smaller woman until the recently retired Allison Danger tried to make the save. Unfortunately Melissa went after Danger's head, knowing full well about the stroke that forced her to retire, but before she could do any damage, LuFisto came out to run her off. This touched a nerve on the part of the Super Hardcore Anime: LuFi had suffered a stroke a few years ago, as well as heart problems, yet had been fortunate enough to heal and resume her career. She didn't take kindly to Melissa beating on one of her friends who was also a stroke victim. Martinez and LuFisto resumed their war, with LuFi getting a victory via Burning Hammer on Saturday. Sunday, Volume 60, saw her challenge Melissa for the SHIMMER belt, proclaiming she was going to stand up for everyone who had been a victim of the Cheerleader's vicious streak.

Unfortunately, the Canadian came up short in her quest. However, after the match, Mercedes ran in to double team LuFi until Kana made the save. During, Melissa had been busted open and was pouring blood down her face. This prevented Melissa from competing on Volume 61 - her own streak of wrestling on each SHIMMER volume came to an end, but she still made an appearance. Sixty one saw Mercedes and LuFisto go to battle once more in a Falls Count Anywhere match that took them all over the Eagles Club in one of the most brutal matches in the promotion's history. Towards the end, Melissa ran in and blasted LuFi with the SHIMMER belt, leading to Martinez hitting a Fisherman's Buster on a chair to get the three. It was a shock to see the two SHIMMER originals standing tall over the prone LuFisto as the boos rained down on the two arrogant women.

The saying goes that you can't keep a good man down, and that goes for a good woman as well. At Femmes Fatales XIII, it was planned to be LuFisto and her protege Sweet Cherrie taking on Mercedes Martinez and her Montreal ally, Saraya Knight in a No Disqualification Anything Goes match. But plans change and instead of Saraya beside Mercedes it was none other than the SHIMMER Champion Cheerleader Melissa. All four did battle in Montreal which saw LuFisto put Mercedes through a table with a Death Valley Driver then get the victory over Melissa via Burning Hammer. A most satisfying result which may have been the final tipping point for the SHIMMER Powers That Be to announce LuFisto would get another shot at the belt. In April 2014, on their second iPPV, the two would go toe to toe again but this time there was an added stipulation: this would be a Best 2 Out of 3 Falls match. LuFisto immediately went into intense training to prepare herself physically and mentally for the challenge.

April 4th. New Orleans, Louisiana. Two legends of female wrestling put another notch in their history book. Like an orchestra that starts out softly only to build into a crescendo of symphony, so did the match start out slow as each woman went through a "feeling out" process. The two exchanged holds, not wanting to give the other an advantage, until LuFi managed to hit the Mangalizer for the first pinfall. However, due to confusion about the allotted rest time between pinfalls, Melissa caught LuFisto off guard with an Air Raid Crash to get the second pin. From there, both women went into overdrive as they brawled around ringside, each determined to be the victor. As we had seen in battles past, the Super Hardcore Anime may have had victory in her grasp...had not Melissa pulled referee Bryce Remsburg into harm's way, taking him out long enough for Mercedes to run in and blast LuFi with her Femmes Fatales title, allowing Melissa to sneak out another win.

This was the second time that saw LuFisto denied a win over her opponent thanks to outside interference. The second time that saw victory pulled from her fingers. The second time that the Two-Woman Power Trip worked together to beat down the woman that is determined to stop them no matter the cost. A woman that is fighting for the one who can't fight, for those who have been beaten and broken along the way. A woman who is fighting for justice, who is chasing a dream that she dared dream whilst going down this path. A woman who has been the victim of injustice, that has seen her dream denied through no fault of her own.

This weekend, we already know that LuFisto will finally have the backup she deserves - her tag team partner, Kana, will be by her side as they battle Cheerleader Melissa and Mercedes Martinez on the first SHIMMER volume to be taped Saturday, Volume 63. Yet, if they win with even odds, will we see LuFisto get justice? Will we see her get a fair chance at the gold belt that is currently around the waist of someone who has tarnished it with her actions?

I'm only a man with a candle to guide me...

Will a woman who has remained true to herself, despite all odds, despite all pressure to force her to change herself into something, someone she is not...will she be able to finally catch hold of her dream without losing herself in the process? Or will she give in to the temptation to behave as her opponents have and win at all costs?

I'm taking a stand to escape what's inside of me...

Everything comes down to this weekend. I feel we shall see the ultimate outcome of this war between two giants of wrestling in tiny Berwyn, Illinois. As for me, I shall be watching in the Eagles Club to bear witness to either the Super Hardcore Anime overcoming all odds and lifting the SHIMMER Women Athletes title over her head in final victory...or...

No. There is no other option. This weekend we must see justice done. We must see the underdog defy all odds. We must see LuFisto rise to the top of the mountain, head and belt held high. And we will urge her on with our own revolution. The "Yes Revolution"? Not quite. The Oui Revolution! Oui! Oui! Oui! WAR LUFISTO~!

Road tripping with Sassy Stephanie: A Glimpse into the Independent Wrestling Life

On Thursday, September 19th, I set off for the home of independent wrestler Sassy Stephanie. I would join her for the next two days as she traveled to two different states to wrestle for two different companies. I would be lucky enough to peer through the looking glass, as it were, and get a taste of "the life". Granted, I had been on road trips with a few wrestlers prior to this, but that was to Dreamwave, a promotion that garners a sizable crowd in a rather populated city. This time, my travels with Sass would take me, first on Friday, to Farmville, Virginia (yes, there really is a town by that name) for Bruiser Wrestling Federation. Second, on Saturday, we would head to Oil City, Pennsylvania for Darkhorse Championship Wrestling. I had never heard of either promotion but it turns out, according to Adam Lash, BWF has been around for close to fifteen years; whereas DCW had only had two shows prior to the one we would be at. Needless to say, this would be a far cry from the previous promotions I had been to.

I arrived at Sassy's about 8:30 at night. Her car was already packed up. She would be heading to bed soon since she had to be up at 3 a.m. to be at her non-wrestling job at 4 a.m. She said she would be leaving work at 9 a.m. so I needed to be up and ready to go by fifteen after. Unfortunately it took an age for me to get to sleep, but I was up at 8:30 and ready to leave when she got home. We threw some energy drinks and water into a cooler, got some snacks, put my stuff into her car and off we went.

The GPS said it would take a little over seven hours. I started off driving and the weather was nice fortunately. We headed south through Ohio, into West Virginia then into Virginia. Unfortunately, due to lack of sleep (and being an amateur at long driving), I only drove for about an hour and a half before having to switch off. Since Steph had left off drinking Pepsi, she had little to no caffeine in her system anymore. So when she started drinking a Mountain Dew energy drink, she was able to drive the rest of the way. I took about a two hour nap but managed to stay awake the rest of the time. The drive itself was lovely - very little traffic and the sun was out. As she drove, we talked about lots of things: wrestling, mutual friends, her wedding, our mothers...but mostly wrestling. It was fascinating hearing her stories over those two days, what she had gone through and what she hoped to achieve.

Farmville, Virginia~!

We arrived on time at the fair, about two hours before the 8 o'clock show was set to begin. As she drove up, Steph halted the car near a parking attendant. She told him she was a wrestler on the show and needed to know where to park. His response (an older, African American man) was telling, "*You're* a wrestler??" Then he laughed. Not harshly or for long, but the fact that this was the reaction she received was galling to me. Stephanie took it in stride, saying that yes, she was and needed to get to where she needed to go. He directed her around to a gate where a second attendant stopped. This man's response was to ask, who she was going to "beat up" tonight. Once we had parked, I said, "I take it you get that reaction a lot." She nodded. "All the time. I'm used to it." I thought this a shame, but at the same time, this was the reality of people in independent wrestling. Stephanie had made a name for herself in "bigger" companies such as Women Superstars Uncensored and SHIMMER Women Athletes but in places such as here (despite having competed in BWF against Kacee Carlisle prior to this show), she was an unknown. At least, to those who were strictly working with the fair that BWF was having their show at.

When we got out of the car and went up to the building, a few men were there to greet and direct us where to go. As we walked out from behind the backstage, passing the ring, I realized...this was a barn. Granted, the weekend before this I had been to Wrestling is Heart, which was also in a barn but it was more like a showcase area, large and rather spacious. This was much smaller, dirtier and...an actual barn. Dirt and hay were under our feet, and I could hear the soft mooing of cows and clucking of chickens nearby. Past the barn was the actual fair itself. This was a far cry from the Eagles Club or the Knights of Columbus Hall. However, it was what it was, and I followed Stephanie and the man guiding us to outside, in front of the barn. There were tables set up already. The one on the left hand side had WWE merchandise such as figures and shirts. The tables to the right were clear, and we were told we could use the one right next to the entrance. Sass quickly got her merch out and set up with an efficiency that was impressive. One of her newest shirts; stickers; trading cards; a program with a small biography about her; photos from WWE, TNA and various independent shows she had taken; old 8x10s; a binder filled with her newer 8x10s; and three bags filled with misc gear. One was marked at $100 as it was a complete set; the others were lower since it was only one piece and not a full set. I wondered at setting these items out - what casual fan would purchase something like that? I said nothing though, and listened as she wrote down the prices for everything and gave me various instructions. I was to be her "merch bitch" for these two days. I had hopes of selling several things for her as, since admission to the wrestling show was free if you paid to get into the fair, I worried that her booking fare wouldn't be worth the drive.

Despite my worries, I never discussed pay with her. That's one subject I feel is off limits, no matter how close of a friend I might be with any wrestler. It's something I never need to know about. By this point, there was an hour left until the show started, and Sass, after making sure I was fine and understood about prices, left to go get ready. The table I was at was right in the path of the setting sun, so for awhile I was sweating it out until it went down. The flyer for the show was on the wall above me. Reading over it, I noted that their main attraction, their star for today's show, was "The Patriot." 

Sass was challenging again for Kacee Carlisle's NWA Women's Championship, and their match was the semi-main. As such, we would be there for a few hours. As I sat there, listening to the Patriot call everyone "bruther", watching the people pass by, some of them headed straight for the WWF table or were attracted by the man in the brightly colored mask. Eventually, after getting her gear on and filming a promo for her upcoming SHINE tag team wrestling match, Steph came back out to stand behind the table with me. Her and the Patriot chatted about the show, the local area, and various wrestling promotions. Later, she said that they had been on shows before and knew each other from there. He also knew about Lexi, Brandi Wine and SHINE Wrestling which amazed me. As the people passed by, she would call out to them, ask them to come and watch her wrestle Kacee and see the rest of the free wrestling. Most of them stopped to talk to the Patriot, but she had no problems engaging kids, parents, older people, all kinds. Some ventured over and looked at her gimmicks, but no one bought anything. She stayed until there was only a few minutes left before bell time, then both of them went to the back. Someone with the show stayed to sell Patriot's merch.

Perhaps I shouldn't have been surprised, but I was at the fact that not only did every seat and bleacher fill up inside the barn, but people stood outside, on the slight incline to watch the show. Other than Kacee, Sass and Patriot, I hadn't heard of any of the people on the show, so between that and not wanting to leave the table unattended, I didn't have much of a desire to watch it. One young man bought a program from me for a dollar. That was, unfortunately, the only thing I sold that night which was disheartening. Something I noticed over the few hours we were there stuck with me though.

I had quite a few people who eventually came out and mostly leafed through the binder of Sassy's 8x10s. Maybe it was the fact that, at SHIMMER, it wasn't unusual to see the women in various photoshoots in either their gear, bathing suits or other attire. It wasn't unusual, to me, to see them selling 8x10s of these shoots. However, I watched the people who flipped through the binders and looked at her various shots. The reactions made me angry inside - I saw barely concealed sneers, slight shakes of heads, and looks of disapproval and judgment. Most of these reactions came from middle aged or older women and a few older men. Younger women and men didn't react the same way. I chalked it up to a combination of conservative values (we were in Virginia, after all), jealousy, and maybe a backwards conception of female wrestlers overall. If these folks were expecting a woman in a one piece bathing suit from The Fabulous Moolah's era, or a cheesecake who was only good for photoshoots, they were going to be sadly mistaken on both accounts. If they stuck around to see her match, that was.

I swallowed my gut reaction and didn't say a word. Let them judge. If they didn't want to bother to look up who Steph was or what all she had accomplished in wrestling, that was their loss. I passed the time on my iPhone or reading a book I had remembered to bring along. Halfway through the show, the Patriot came back to man his table (he was in the main event), and it was then he asked me, "You're Stephanie's friend? I'm Tom." He extended a hand and I took it, introducing myself. He said that he had driven down from Philly (I believe) and had had to do the trip on his own since his friend couldn't come with him. It had been a long drive and his voice showed how tired he was. But he never hesitated to take a picture, sign an autograph or anything the fans asked. 

When it came time for Sassy's match, I came out and stood at the entrance of the barn. The ring was slightly elevated, so I had no trouble watching it. It was strange seeing Steph come out as a babyface, playing to the crowd as "Awake and Alive" blared over the loudspeaker. Everywhere else, she plays a bitchy heel to perfection. But the crowd responded well and during the match, I didn't hear any disrespectful remarks from anyone nearby, nor was anything inappropriate shouted. This was probably due to the kids being in attendance, but not even SHIMMER is free of douchebags despite being a company that has a reputation for strong female wrestling. It was also a far cry from the judgmental looks earlier. As Kacee made her entrance, the music was almost drowned out by the boos. I had to shake my head though - in wrestling, your entrance music is a vital part of your persona. Some people become inseparable from theirs (it's why Shawn Michaels continued to use "Sexy Boy" even after entering middle age and starting to bald). Kacee had chosen Metallica's "Ride the Lightning", which, for me, was already solidly associated with a Midwestern wrestler. Plus, in my opinion, it didn't fit her persona at all - much like Steph, she's very old school in her wrestling, not the type to pull out flashy moves or create an intense persona. But it was what it was.

The match that followed saw a lot of ground based moves, head locks, arm bars and only once did Sass go up top for a flying crossbody that got a great reaction from the crowd. When she hit a Japanese arm bar on Kacee, an older man near me remarked to his friend, "I ain't never seen a move like that!" It was a very basic, but undeniably solid match that engaged fans. The two worked well together, and I learned later that this was only their second time wrestling each other. Kacee kept the belt after hitting a DDT (I think), but Steph got a round of applause as the referee helped her to the back. It was when the bell rang that I packed up all her merch and put it back into the backpack. Not long after that, her bright red hair shielded by a hoodie, she came and got me, and we went to the back to say goodbye. I believe it was around 10:30 p.m. We had a little under five hour drive ahead of us to get to the hotel, and since she was amped up from the show, Sass said she would take the wheel. The GPS naturally took us a different way since we were going north, into Pennsylvania, and we would cross through Maryland at one point.

By this time, it was pitch black and I was shivering. Shorts might have been wise when the sun was high in the sky but up in the mountains at night it most assuredly was not. With the heater on, we began our way through the mountains once more, twisting and turning as the wind blew, making the trees sway, casting shadows that we drove through. However, we sang *N Sync, Steph voxed her fiancee Chris, and I recorded videos of us singing in the dark. It was fun and at points I could look up into a cloudless sky and see the stars. It was like salt scattered onto a piece of black construction paper. Beautiful! At one point, Steph halted the car beside a small building. Out in front, highlighted by lights, was a statue of a gigantic rooster. Of course we had to take pictures. It was then I realized that this is one of the perks - when else but traveling the back roads between small towns would you stumble across something as silly as this? Moments like these are memories.

Biggest cock I've ever come across.

As we drove, Stephanie told me about something that had happened during the match that she had never experienced before. Normally, she said, once she's out there in the ring she doesn't register faces or people in the crowd. She's in that "zone" that all wrestlers enter. However, when Kacee had her in a submission, she looked out and saw a kid that probably wasn't over seven years old. Their eyes met and although she couldn't hear him, she read his lips. "You can do it." Even when she had been a babyface prior in her career, she had never had that kind of connection with anyone. "He believed in me," she said, "I wanted to justify his belief in me. He may forget this in a week, but that's something I will remember for the rest of my life." I could tell by the look on her face and the tone of her voice that she was serious. This child had connected with her. It was still real to him. To that kid, and indeed to the rest of them that were at the show, everyone in the ring was larger than life. Wins and losses still mattered. The age old struggle of good versus bad still held a magic, to kids and adults alike. Food for thought for me.

Our rooster stop and a stop at Sheetz for gas and food (Sass was good enough to stop at a next door McDonalds for me) delayed us getting to the hotel in Bedford until around 3 a.m. She had booked us in a comfortable hotel. We had to be up by 8 and gone for the three hour drive in order to make it to Oil City by noon, when the promoter had wanted everyone to be there. We were out by 3:30 but I woke up at 7:30 to get a quick shower. Four hours of sleep! Steph got four and a half since she woke up at 8, but we were out by 8:30 on the road again (after another stop at Sheetz - their coffee is AMAZING!). I dozed off for awhile but switched with her again to make the final trek to a high school gym where the show was to take place. By this time it was raining steadily, which wasn't pleasant but it wasn't bad enough to impair driving. We made our way into the main building to the gym where the previous show had been held. When we peeked in, however, there was a girls basketball practice being held. By this time it was almost noon, so Steph and I decided to huddle down in a nearby hallway, her to take a nap while waiting to hear from the promoter as to where everyone was. As we waited, she started laughing, "The glamorous life of a professional wrestler," she remarked wryly. I couldn't help but laugh too.

We didn't have to wait long - it turned out they were in a separate building nearby. We packed up our stuff again, drove the short distance and got into the school quickly. As before, we were led into the gym and Sass quickly got her gimmicks set up at a table near the entrance where fans would be coming in. It was a prime spot, although M-Dogg Matt Cross had gotten the table right next to the entryway. He was someone who knew the value of choosing your place as to maximize the prospect of fans buying merch, she said, something that came with developing good instincts. Every dollar counted. I took a seat behind the table as she went to get changed and discuss things with the people she would be working with. I watched the ring being set up, noting that both men and women were pitching in, despite some of it being heavy work. I noted that Blk Jeez and the Latin Dragon from CZW were on the card as well as Kimber Lee, Missy Sampson (the DCW Women's Champion), Marti Belle and one of the green students from the CZW school, Samantha St. Paul. I thought it was interesting and kinda cool to see some of the more well-known independent names at this show that was, apparently, broadcast on a local television station. This was going to be taped for a future airing. It amazed me that a small promotion that was still brand new was on tv, although I had no idea how that worked. As bell time grew closer, fans started to trickle in and to my surprise there were fewer people here than had been at BWF last night. I asked Sass, who had come out in her gear to stand at the table, if there had been so few at the previous first show that she had been at (having been unable to make it to the second show). She replied that there had been more at the first. I thought this was a shame as the show looked to be a solid one. But beggars couldn't be choosers, and although it began a little behind schedule, the promoter came out to thank everyone who was there.

This time, despite fewer people stopping to look at what Stephanie had for sale, an older man with his grown daughter wanted to buy a t-shirt. The girl protested, wondering what "mom" would think. He bought one nonetheless and I thanked him with a smile. That turned out to, again, be the only sale I made but she was grateful for it. Small victories are better than none. Steph again had her ring-worn gear out for sale, and I asked her while in the car if it wouldn't be better to hold onto those until she got to SHIMMER in a few weeks as they would be more likely to sell to the wider fan base. She replied that there was always the chance that one of the fans at these smaller shows would buy it. She had the same nonchalance when I told her about the women who had turned their noses up at her photoshoots. "Sex sells. I'm never fully naked despite how it looks in some of those shots, and they sell. I'm appealing to those fans." A sound business strategy, rooted in common sense. Part of the reality of being a female wrestler.

I read more of my book until it came time for Sassy's matches, which I told her I would record on my phone. The first was a tag match. I noted one older woman who was taking pictures giving all the heels grief. Yet, before the show, during intermission, and afterwards she asked several people to pose for a photo with, I assumed, was her grandson. It was fun to see not just the kids but the adults get into it, mostly for the chance to get on television. The kids still believed it was real, but these adults were clearly in the know. There was no chance of a riot here if a babyface lost, unlike last night. The contrast between the two groups of fans was fascinating.

I really enjoyed Sassy's match against Missy - being that Sampson had the size and height advantage, Steph went for different types of submissions, trying to keep her grounded. The end came when she pulled out a submission I had never seen before, from her or anyone else. I won't describe it here as I'm sure she'll use it again in the near future, but she performed it well. Missy passed out instead of submitting, making Sassy Stephanie the new DCW Women's Champion. Fans were pissed, especially the older woman who got up and yelled that Steph had cheated. Sass got right in her face, asking how she had cheated when she had had a clean submission on. The woman retorted that she went to the outside, but Steph countered by saying that Missy had knocked her to the outside to start with. The older woman had no retort to that except by repeating she had cheated. Sass laughed at her and went to the back, belt firmly around her waist.

Unlike last night, there was no rush to get things together after her match ended. Stephanie stayed until the show was over to help do local promos for television spots. She got everyone herded into the room where these were shot and made sure they were done before allowing the wrestlers to leave. In her own words, she was a bitch who made sure things got done. To me, this wasn't a bad thing - sometimes you have to be tough and firm to get a job accomplished, especially when some people are unwilling to do it without a push. It was a mark of how much the promoter relied on her to do behind the scenes work. After gathering up her gimmicks, I waited, watching some of the wrestlers interact with the fans that were slow to leave. I also watched both men and women take down the ring, admiring how there was little hesitation to do something that might not be the most glamorous thing but was essential to the process. I had no idea if these were wrestlers who were in training and paying their dues or if they had been hired from outside the promotion. Either way, they were efficient and uncomplaining.

By this time, Sass had joined me and it turned out that one of the fans who was in attendance was the host of a local radio station. He invited Steph to do some promos for his show as well as two advertisements for local area businesses. Since she had a track record of doing stuff on the radio and in front of a camera, she had developed a good, clear voice for these kinds of things so we followed the guy to the radio station after everything was done at the show. I have to admit, I was apprehensive about this. He was older and we were the only people in the small building. But nothing untoward happened, and I listened as Sass did the two ads and three promo spots, the latter three unscripted. She was a natural and the man thanked her profusely, giving her a few items for her willingness (a travel mug, knapsack, stickers with the radio station, and a stress hockey puck). After that we headed to a nearby bar and restaurant to eat with some of the folks from the show that were able to stick around.

Despite only knowing one or two people there, Steph was adept at making small talk while I ate and observed. A product of being in such a public business, you have to be outgoing to some degree, with fans and fellow workers alike. Perhaps she had always been this way. I wasn't sure how many of these guys and gals knew each other, or how well, but they all relaxed, talked and laughed in an easy way. At one point I was gently kidded by one of the guys sitting across from me about my lack of speaking. I blushed and attempted to make small talk but in large groups and especially around people in the business, I'm more likely to take a step back. I remained aware that I was a fan who was lucky enough to take a look behind the curtain.

It was nightfall and still raining when we left. Soaked again but that didn't matter much. We were both in good spirits - the fact that the drive from Oil City back to Stephanie's house was only two hours (the shortest distance we would drive over the two days) probably had something to do with this. Neither of us had difficulty staying awake, and as we drove back into Ohio she told me a few of the things that were in the area as well as some of the history, plus a few things about her mom and the high school she had attended. I offered a few stories of my mom and the high school I went to. It wasn't long before we were back at her house, I believe by 11:30 or somewhere around that time. We both crashed out, and the next day I drove back home...a five hour trip that took nine hours.

On the drive home, I found myself reflecting on what I had seen and experienced over the previous two days. I had never had any illusions about independent wrestling being some sort of glittering life. I knew it involved hard work and a dedication to wrestling that goes above and beyond what the average fan feels. You have to have a passion that motivates you to drive anywhere from 30 minutes to seven hours to perform in front of anywhere from 20 to 400 people for who knows what amount of money. You have to be willing to smile for fans, be accommodating when they ask for pictures or autographs, make small talk to try and sell an extra shirt for a few more dollars. You have to be ready to wrestle indoors or out, rain or shine, and make it through all types of weather to get to the show. You have to be able to show promoters you can do business in a professional manner, be at the venue on time, amendable to any sudden changes (while maintaining your own best interests), and work with people that you may or may not get on with. When the show is over, depending on your status in the promotion, you either tie up any loose ends, collect your pay and depart for the short or long drive home; or, you stay and help take down the ring, collect the chairs and clean up before leaving. Then you either set off for your next booking, which could take you on the road for another few hours or minutes, leaving you with the option to either sleep in your car somewhere or book a room in any kind of hotel to sleep for a precious few hours; or, you set off for your home, hoping to make it to your bed for any kind of sleep before getting up for your "real world" job.

Like I said, it's a hard life. But, it has it's rewards. Stephanie has no regrets. "I love what I do, and I have fun," she told me when I shared some of my observations after the trip was over. Indeed, she never complained about the driving, the people, the promotions, none of it. On the contrary, she was wide awake and ready for anything that could and did happen. The random things (such as running into the giant rooster and having the opportunity to record spots for a radio station) are part of what makes the independent wrestling life such a fascinating one. You never know what might happen on the next trip. The special things (such as connecting with one fan as they cheer for you during the match) are what make for lasting memories. The ability to touch a fan and bring them to their feet with cheers or boos isn't something that all wrestlers have. For those that do, that is part of why they choose to live this life. To create lasting memories, for themselves and for the fans, is something unique.

For my part, I loved it. I was captivated hearing the stories she had to share about her almost seven years in wrestling. I was fascinated by the places we went, the roads we drove, and the glimpses of small town life we caught. Especially up in the mountains of West Virginia and Virginia, the forests were beautiful. I found the people we came into contact with interesting, from the fans to the fellow wrestlers to the promoters. Sure, the drives were long, the weather was less than perfect on Saturday, and we got little sleep but I felt positively alive and thrilled to have been asked to come along. It's a life that, had I had a different body, I would have tried to live. As it is though, I was honored that Steph asked me to go with her. I have gained more of an insight into the life, and my respect for those who willingly go through the trials in order to live their passion has doubled. It only increases my determination to help support those that truly love what they do, and reward their dedication however I can, in small ways and large.

Fans may joke about the frequent user of "brother" between wrestlers, but it reminds me of the lines from Shakespeare's "King Henry V":

"From this day to the ending of the world,
But we in it shall be remember'd;
We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;
For he to-day that sheds his blood with me
Shall be my brother."

A huge thank you to Stephanie, I appreciated this so much! Get out there and support independent wrestling and independent wrestlers - they deserve it!

(Here is a link to her promo she shot in Farmville for the SHINE Wrestling iPPV. Order it on WWNLive.com, and catch it on September 27th!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t_3DbPKEPhQ )